INT. HOSPITAL EXAM ROOM – DAY
Amy Schumer sits on the exam table, looking both frustrated and hopeful. Dr. Luka Kovač enters, holding a tablet with her test results. His calm demeanor instantly puts her at ease.
DR. KOVAČ
Amy, your test results confirm it’s Cushing’s syndrome. The good news is, we can manage this.
AMY SCHUMER
(sighing)
Thank God. I was starting to think I was just crazy. So, what’s the plan?
DR. KOVAČ
First, we’ll address the root cause—whether it’s from a tumor, excessive corticosteroids, or another issue. But lifestyle changes and natural support can make a big difference, too.
AMY SCHUMER
(nodding)
I’m all ears. Tell me everything.
DR. KOVAČ
(pulling up a chair)
Let’s start with food. Your body needs support to balance cortisol levels and reduce inflammation.
Foods to Include
- Leafy Greens
Spinach, kale, and arugula are rich in magnesium, which helps regulate cortisol. - Fatty Fish
Salmon, mackerel, and sardines provide omega-3s to combat inflammation. - Berries
Blueberries, strawberries, and raspberries are loaded with antioxidants. - Avocados
High in potassium and healthy fats to support adrenal health. - Nuts and Seeds
Almonds, walnuts, chia seeds, and flaxseeds for healthy fats and magnesium. - Whole Grains
Quinoa, brown rice, and oats help stabilize blood sugar levels. - Herbs and Spices
Turmeric, ginger, and cinnamon have anti-inflammatory properties.
DR. KOVAČ
Avoid processed foods, sugar, and excessive salt. They can worsen fluid retention and inflammation.
AMY SCHUMER
Got it. So, no more late-night ice cream binges?
DR. KOVAČ
(smiling)
Not if you want to feel better.
Vitamins and Supplements
- Vitamin D
Helps regulate calcium levels and supports bone health, which can be affected by Cushing’s. - Magnesium
Reduces cortisol and improves sleep quality. - Ashwagandha
An adaptogen that helps balance cortisol levels. - Vitamin C
Supports adrenal function and boosts the immune system. - Omega-3 Fatty Acids
Fights inflammation and supports brain health. - Probiotics
Improves gut health, which is crucial for hormone regulation. - Calcium and Vitamin K2
Protects bone density, which can be compromised by high cortisol.
Lifestyle Changes
- Stress Management
Practice yoga, meditation, or deep breathing exercises. - Sleep Hygiene
Aim for 7-8 hours of quality sleep each night. - Exercise
Focus on low-impact activities like walking, swimming, or yoga to avoid overtaxing your body.
AMY SCHUMER
This all sounds doable. What about medicine?
DR. KOVAČ
We’ll start you on ketoconazole or metyrapone to lower cortisol production. If needed, we’ll consider surgical options or radiation, depending on the cause.
AMY SCHUMER
(pausing, then smiling)
You know, I was expecting a lot of doom and gloom, but this actually feels… manageable.
DR. KOVAČ
(smiling back)
That’s the goal. Small, consistent steps will get you there. And Amy, remember—this is a partnership. You’re not alone in this.
Amy nods, a spark of determination lighting her eyes. Luka stands, offering her a reassuring hand.
AMY SCHUMER
Thanks, Doc. I’ll try to remember all this.
DR. KOVAČ
And if you forget, I’ll remind you.
As she leaves the room, Amy feels a newfound sense of hope, armed with the tools to take control of her health.
Here’s a narrative where Dr. Luka Kovač enlists Amy Schumer to help Andie MacDowell with managing Piriformis Syndrome, blending medical advice with a touch of humor and camaraderie:
INT. HOSPITAL LOUNGE – DAY
Dr. Luka Kovač sits at a table, scribbling notes on a pad. Amy Schumer walks in, holding a cup of coffee, looking more upbeat after her recent visit.
AMY SCHUMER
(grinning)
Hey, Doc. Miss me already?
DR. KOVAČ
(looking up, smiling faintly)
Amy, perfect timing. I need your help.
AMY SCHUMER
(mock surprise)
My help? Are you sure? I mean, I’m flattered, but my medical degree is still in the mail.
DR. KOVAČ
(chuckling)
No medical degree required. I have a patient, Andie MacDowell. She’s dealing with Piriformis Syndrome, and I think you’d be the perfect person to deliver my advice.
AMY SCHUMER
(raising an eyebrow)
Wait, Andie MacDowell? Groundhog Day Andie MacDowell?
DR. KOVAČ
(nodding)
The very same. She’s struggling with pain and tightness in her piriformis muscle. I’ve written up a list of foods, vitamins, and supplements to help her manage the inflammation and support her recovery. I thought you could add a little… encouragement.
AMY SCHUMER
(grinning)
Encouragement, huh? You mean, charm her into actually following your advice?
DR. KOVAČ
(smiling)
Something like that.
AMY SCHUMER
Alright, Doc. Hand it over. What’s the magic list?
Dr. Kovač hands her a neatly written note. Amy scans it, her expression turning mock-serious.
Dr. Kovač’s Recommendations for Piriformis Syndrome
Foods to Reduce Inflammation
Leafy Greens
Spinach, kale, and Swiss chard are packed with anti-inflammatory compounds.
Fatty Fish
Salmon, mackerel, and sardines provide omega-3s to reduce muscle inflammation.
Berries
Blueberries, blackberries, and cherries are rich in antioxidants.
Turmeric and Ginger
Add these spices to meals or tea for their natural anti-inflammatory effects.
Nuts and Seeds
Almonds, walnuts, chia seeds, and flaxseeds for healthy fats and magnesium.
Whole Grains
Brown rice, quinoa, and oats stabilize energy levels and reduce inflammation.
Avocado
High in potassium and healthy fats to support muscle recovery.
Vitamins and Supplements
Magnesium
Helps relax muscles and reduce spasms.
Vitamin D
Supports muscle health and reduces inflammation.
Omega-3 Fatty Acids
Fights inflammation and supports joint health.
Vitamin C
Boosts collagen production for connective tissue repair.
Curcumin
The active compound in turmeric; available as a supplement for concentrated benefits.
B Complex Vitamins
Supports nerve health and muscle function.
Probiotics
Improves gut health, which indirectly helps reduce inflammation.
Lifestyle Tips
Stretching
Focus on gentle stretches for the piriformis muscle and hips.
Heat and Ice Therapy
Use heat to relax muscles and ice to reduce inflammation.
Low-Impact Exercise
Swimming, yoga, or walking can help without overstraining.
Posture Support
Avoid prolonged sitting, and use cushions for support if needed.
AMY SCHUMER
(reading aloud, mock dramatic)
“Probiotics for gut health, magnesium for muscle spasms, and turmeric for everything short of world peace.” Got it.
DR. KOVAČ
(smiling)
Think you can handle it?
AMY SCHUMER
(grinning)
Doc, if I can survive a week without ice cream, I can definitely handle this. I’ll make sure Andie knows you’re the wizard behind the curtain.
DR. KOVAČ
(standing up, extending his hand)
Thank you, Amy. And remember, it’s about helping her feel empowered to take control of her health.
AMY SCHUMER
(shaking his hand)
Empowered, got it. And maybe I’ll throw in a joke or two. Laughter’s good medicine, right?
DR. KOVAČ
(smiling warmly)
It is. Just don’t make her laugh too hard—she might strain her piriformis.
Amy laughs, tucking the note into her pocket as she heads out, ready to take on her new role as health ambassador.
No thank you to the radiation Dr. Kovac. That is what killed my mother: